Civility has a bad name these days

Civility has a bad name these days, especially in an election year.  It is seen as being weak, or an unwillingness to “speak truth to power.”  If you are not outraged, you are not paying attention, as the saying goes. 

At the Capitol, there has been of late a “civility caucus” of a few well-meaning members who try to forge constructive engagement across party lines and commit to fostering a tone that is about bringing light and not heat.  Sadly, the end of the last session was not a ringing endorsement of the civility caucus’s success. Lack of transparency calls for Catholic engagement 

But why be civil?  Especially when one is not met with civility in return? 

Civility is a necessary precondition of politics that is ordered toward the common good. It is also a moral imperative— for as Catholics, we believe our neighbors are created in the image and likeness of God.   

Civility is the “Tone” of Good Politics 

The word 'civility' comes from the same Latin root as 'city,' which is civitas. Civility refers to the respectful way citizens engage with one another as they participate in the activities of the city—essentially, the 'politics' of working together to promote the common good. This idea of a city is captured by the Greek word polis. 

Civility is essential because we share a common life and common goods. Politics, at its core, is about fostering civic friendship marked by civility—a true friendship that seeks the genuine good of others and works together for the common good. 

The Church builds on the classical understanding of politics as civic friendship by helping us recognize our shared humanity and destiny. We don't just live together in the same space; we are more than that. We are all made in the image and likeness of God and have a common father, who art in heaven. This makes us brothers and sisters, and we should treat each other as such.  

As a human family, we must stand in solidarity and care for each other’s needs and struggles. When one of us suffers, we all suffer. To address the challenges humanity faces, everyone must take part in the work of community life—what we call politics. When some of our brothers and sisters are excluded from community life (socially, politically, or economically), it is our responsibility to bring them in.  And in community, we are all called to participate in shaping our shared life by contributing our unique gifts to the common good.  

In that common work, we need to speak to each other in productive ways that open hearts and minds.  Rational discourse is premised on the idea that you have dignity, gifts to share, and a perspective worth considering, and I should listen to you as a brother or sister.   

Civility is found in disagreement 

Civility does not mean we need to agree.  In fact, civility is lived in the context of disagreement.  It’s not about simply being 'nice' or avoiding conflict, nor does it exclude righteous anger. Instead, civility recognizes that conflict often stems from competing values, but it seeks to listen attentively and not just try to split the difference.  Civility works to create a dynamic where everyone can win.   

For democracy to survive, we cannot divide each other into factions— friends or enemies.  We are often led to believe that our neighbors—even our family members—are our enemies. Think of children denouncing their parents on social media or friendships breaking over political differences.  

The Enemy divides us, but Christ calls us to love our enemies. That is why our true enemies are not those on the other side of the political aisle but rather the spiritual powers and principalities of this world.  In politics, we must see one another as friends, not enemies, understanding that the line between good and evil doesn’t lie between 'Us' and 'Them' but runs through every human heart. As G.K. Chesterton quipped: “What’s wrong with the world? I am.”   

By entering the public arena with a commitment to civility, we can transform politics from a power struggle between opposing sides into the shared task of building the common good.